As the tumbleweeds continue to dance through this blog, I knew it had been a while but I didn't realize I hadn't posted at all in the month of August--and it is September in a couple of days. This summer got away from me in a big way. I finally got off swing shift about a month ago, and that helped everything immensely. I learned not to take two classes simultaneously and work full-time, because I wasn't effective anywhere. Mr. Salted and I both got sick and couldn't get over it--we are both still hacking a bit, weeks later--and I had a couple of migraines to boot. It's been the longest period of Just Getting Through the Day that I've had in many years, and I can't say that I care for it too much. But things are on the definite upswing.
As the year anniversary of the surgery approached, I was starting to shut down. With everything else going on in my life, it definitely wasn't my primary focus as it had been, though I was still following the basic rules. I got incredibly anxious when it came time for the follow-up appointments, since my weight hadn't changed between the 9- and 12-month mark. In fact, it went up a pound or two. On swing shift, I went up eight pounds almost overnight; when I went back on day shift, I immediately lost five or six of it without any behavior change, lending credibility to all those studies out there now that inadequate and poor quality sleep causes weight gain. Before my appointments, I couldn't sleep for days, thinking the nutritionist and doctors were going to yell at me and feeling like a failure because of that one or two pounds. I also still hadn't found time to start working out.
The appointments all went incredibly well, so I worried for nothing. My bloodwork is stupendously healthy. The Simcor (20 mg simvastatin, 500 mg niacin) lowered my cholesterol considerably. I have lost 80 pounds since surgery, 100 pounds since my highest weight. My surgeon could not have been kinder or more encouraging. Sitting and talking with him, I was again reminded by his passion for what he does, and moved by it as well. He was training a physician's assistant I had not previously met who is an absolute doll--she made me feel better before he even got there.
My weight hovers around the 205-210 range, and my 18-month surgery anniversary is in February. The surgeon wants me to try to lose 20-25 pounds by then and to ultimately shoot for 180 pounds. (That is what I weighed when I graduated high school. It's funny how I remember what weights I've been by the age or period of my life I was in at the time.) He said how much I lose will depend on how hard I work (duh) but both of us agree I probably cannot get much below 180 pounds without cosmetic surgery to at least remove the excess skin. While this may sound discouraging to some, I really appreciated the realistic approach. He talked about the absurdity of the old weight charts--how they would have just looked at my height and determine I should weigh between 120 and 140. (I joked that my skeleton weighs more than that, and he laughed like he had never heard that before.) Basically, he reiterated that I am doing what I am supposed to be, I am about where he would want me to be, and reinforced the message that the first year had been a complete success. I thought the fact that I was not working out yet would be the biggest bugaboo, but he even managed to turn that into a positive. "This is the perfect time to start," he said. "You aren't going to lose any more weight unless you do. It's a great motivator."
Yes. Yes, it is.
A few days later, I joined the YMCA. I paid slightly more for a membership that allows me to use any Y in three adjacent counties. I have been swimming three times a week, and it feels great. I hadn't swam since before I had lasik in 2007, and it's great to both see what I'm doing and feel how much more easily I move through the water. The first couple of times I swam for 40 straight minutes, but within a week I was shooting for 50. I don't try to go super fast the whole time, only to keep going. Breaststroke is the easiest for me, and I concentrate on a gentle, strong, consistent movement. (I discovered that flutter kick still hurts my ankle a little.) The first couple of times I went, I felt like the lifeguard was looking at me like I was about to stroke out. Other people remain the most annoying part of any workout for me--particularly people that act like the pool is their own personal possession and are visibly annoyed that someone new is there. Of course, I encountered the most obnoxious person to date on my first time going. In the past, that might have driven me out of that pool. Now I say to myself: "My money is worth just as much as yours, I paid just like you to be here, and you're not going to get in the way of my goals". I just keep swimming.
(My grandmother turned 90 recently and I asked her if she thought she would make it to 90. "I never gave it much thought," she said. "You just kept going?" I asked. "Yeah," she replied. "Just kept going.")
My weight still hasn't changed since I started swimming; I was warned that loss happens much more slowly now. Stuff is still shifting around, though, so I know muscle is being built. I went down another cup size, and some of my jeans are 16s now--a size I haven't worn since high school! The hardest part of it all is my skin getting looser. I can fit everything but my stomach into a lot smaller clothes, and if that apron (that's what I call it) wasn't there, I could wear very different clothes, too. I try not to focus on that, but sometimes it gets to me. I am going to want it surgically corrected ASAP.
I am still not small by any means, but I definitely feel that the world perceives me differently. I am sure some of this is because I am projecting more confidence and positivity, but the world remains unabashedly shallow. Men, in particular, are a damn sight nicer. I get a lot more smiles, doors opened, and conversation in general; sometimes (more often than I can even believe) I even get checked out. While I enjoy that (I cannot tell a lie!), it also sticks in my craw a little. I am the same person I always was--kind, funny and smart, no matter what I weighed. The idea that a person, particularly a female person, has to fall within the parameters of looking a certain way in order to receive basic acknowledgment as a human being will never be okay with me. 100 pounds lighter, I am still too large for many to acknowledge. I find myself caring a lot more about my appearance, dressing better--I even started bleaching my teeth (something I've wanted to do for years, and I finally found a dentist with a reasonably priced option for doing it).
I resolve to keep fighting the good fight, and I resolve to post more often! I am leaving for the pool in about half an hour.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Conscious eating
I have been doggedly trying to practice this the past few days. Drinking more liquids rather than eating every time I get the notion. Asking myself, "Are you REALLY hungry or would drinking something fill you up?" (Sometimes, drinking something IS enough--I just have to be aware.) This morning I danced around for fifteen minutes while I watched TV to get my heart beating. I'm also trying to think more positive thoughts--how much I've lost already, how much better I feel.
My shift is supposed to change to days next week, and I really hope it does. I'm averaging maybe four hours of sleep a night. I've been researching pools and health clubs where I might be able to go, and have found a couple of options.
I've discovered that I really love Bret Michaels' diet Snapple flavor that he created on "Celebrity Apprentice"--it's called Bret's Blend Tea, Trop-A-Rocka. Goofy as that name is, I hope they keep making it; I usually don't like the tea flavors, and it's hard to find diet Snapple in anything else.
I also discovered my stomach is happier when I have Jamba Juice swap out the juice and completely substitute it with the Splenda low-cal dairy base so that all my drinks are made of is that and fruit. Pomegranate and mango combos seem to be the mildest.
My shift is supposed to change to days next week, and I really hope it does. I'm averaging maybe four hours of sleep a night. I've been researching pools and health clubs where I might be able to go, and have found a couple of options.
I've discovered that I really love Bret Michaels' diet Snapple flavor that he created on "Celebrity Apprentice"--it's called Bret's Blend Tea, Trop-A-Rocka. Goofy as that name is, I hope they keep making it; I usually don't like the tea flavors, and it's hard to find diet Snapple in anything else.
I also discovered my stomach is happier when I have Jamba Juice swap out the juice and completely substitute it with the Splenda low-cal dairy base so that all my drinks are made of is that and fruit. Pomegranate and mango combos seem to be the mildest.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
If only bad habits could be edited
I'm taking a professional editing class--it's part of the Technical Writing Certificate I'm working toward in my spare (cough) time. The final project assignment is to edit a piece of writing that's 5-10 pages long, using the different levels of editing we're learning about, etc., etc. It's hard to find pieces of writing on the web that it's okay (read: legal) to edit, so we were steered toward Wikipedia for sources.
I looked up some random stuff I thought I might be able to write about, like 'shabby chic', and there wasn't enough text (or enough interest on my part to make it a final project). Then, a light bulb went on (must have been the Rockstar I just finished--wink wink) and I thought, "I'll look up 'gastric bypass surgery'!" I cut and pasted the whole kit and caboodle into Word and it came up as 17 pages, so even with the random white space where the graphics would have gone, it should be plenty long enough when all is said and done. I emailed my instructor with a couple of questions and now await his reply. Some stuff in the article jumped out at me.
"The long-term mortality rate of gastric bypass patients has been shown to be reduced by up to 40%;however, complications are common and surgery-related death occurs within one month in 2% of patients."
I knew this; in fact, I actually thought the surgery-related death statistic was higher. I think it may have gone down in the 12 or so years I've been reading about it; initially I had the impression that 1 in 4 patients died pretty quickly following surgery, which was one of the reasons I initially refused to get it. I tell people they should know the worst-case scenario(s) and be able to accept them before they undergo bariatric surgery.
"The Consensus Panel of the National Institutes of Health (NIH) recommended the following criteria for consideration of bariatric surgery, including gastric bypass procedures:
1. People who have a body mass index (BMI) of 40 or higher. Or,
2. People with a BMI of 35 or higher with one or more related comorbid conditions.
The Consensus Panel also emphasized the necessity of multidisciplinary care of the bariatric surgical patient, by a team of physicians and therapists, to manage associated co-morbidities, nutrition, physical activity, behavior and psychological needs. The surgical procedure is best regarded as a tool which enables the patient to alter lifestyle and eating habits, and to achieve effective and permanent management of their obesity and eating behavior."
That's what they've been telling me. Tool. It's easier said than done sometimes, but it's the most useful way to think of the surgery.
"In 2004, a Consensus Conference was sponsored by the American Society for Bariatric Surgery (ASBS), which updated the evidence and the conclusions of the NIH panel. This Conference, composed of physicians and scientists of many disciplines, both surgical and non-surgical, reached several conclusions, amongst which were:
• Bariatric surgery is the most effective treatment for morbid obesity
• Gastric bypass is one of four types of operations for morbid obesity.
• Laparoscopic surgery is equally effective and as safe as open surgery.
• Patients should undergo comprehensive pre-operative evaluation, and have multi-disciplinary support, for optimum outcome."
Okay. I agree with this, and it's what I'm getting.
"The gastric bypass, in its various forms, accounts for a large majority of the bariatric surgical procedures performed. It is estimated that 200,000 such operations were performed in the United States in 2008. An increasing number of these operations are now performed by limited access techniques, termed "laparoscopy".
Laparoscopic surgery is performed using several small incisions, or ports, one of which conveys a surgical telescope connected to a video camera, and others permit access of specialized operating instruments. The surgeon actually views his operation on a video screen. The method is also called limited access surgery, reflecting both the limitation on handling and feeling tissues, and also the limited resolution and two-dimensionality of the video image. With experience, a skilled laparoscopic surgeon can perform most procedures as expeditiously as with an open incision—with the option of using an incision should the need arise."
My surgery was laproscopic. I had that unusually thick abdominal wall problem, but my incision scars are almost invisible already, not even a year out.
"The gastric bypass procedure consists in essence of: creation of a small, (15–30 mL/1–2 tbsp) thumb-sized pouch from the upper stomach, accompanied by bypass of the remaining stomach (about 400 mL and variable)."
Wow, that's tiny.
"The gastric bypass reduces the size of the stomach by well over 90%. A normal stomach can stretch, sometimes to over 1000 ml, while the pouch of the gastric bypass may be 15 ml in size. The Gastric Bypass pouch is usually formed from the part of the stomach which is least susceptible to stretching. That, and its small original size, prevents any significant long-term change in pouch volume. What does change, over time, is the size of the connection between stomach and bowel, and the ability of the small bowel to hold a greater volume of food. Over time, the functional capacity of the pouch increases; by that time, weight loss has occurred, and the increased capacity serves to allow maintenance of a lower body weight.
When the patient ingests just a small amount of food, the first response is a stretching of the wall of the stomach pouch, stimulating nerves which tell the brain that the stomach is full."
What I heard was that a 'normal' stomach can stretch to the size of a football. (An example like that is easier for me to visualize.)
"In almost every case where weight gain occurs late after surgery, capacity for a meal has not greatly increased. The cause of regaining weight is eating between meals, usually high-caloric snack foods. There is no known operation which can completely counteract the adverse effects of destructive eating behavior."
This is the part that hit me where I lived, particularly the last sentence--because I know how very true it is and live it every day, sometimes much to my own chagrin. It's just another way to say, "This surgery isn't a magic wand"--which is, of course, what I've been saying (and learning, literally) all along.
There were more interesting little factoids on Wikipedia's gastric bypass surgery page, such as that post-surgical folk absorb alcohol faster and take longer to get sober (which would seem logical). The statistics were also kind of fun:
-65-80% of excess body weight is typically lost post-op;
-High cholesterol is corrected over 70% of the time (I'm in the remaining 30%, lucky me);
-Type II diabetes is resolved in over 90% of cases, sometimes within days of surgery (this did happen, yay);
-Sleep apnea is often cured, though no statistic is given;
-acid reflux and joint pain are often gone quickly, although no statistic is given.
The article does stress the importance of having a support system in place due to the psychological ramifications of this surgery. I would definitely, definitely concur.
I looked up some random stuff I thought I might be able to write about, like 'shabby chic', and there wasn't enough text (or enough interest on my part to make it a final project). Then, a light bulb went on (must have been the Rockstar I just finished--wink wink) and I thought, "I'll look up 'gastric bypass surgery'!" I cut and pasted the whole kit and caboodle into Word and it came up as 17 pages, so even with the random white space where the graphics would have gone, it should be plenty long enough when all is said and done. I emailed my instructor with a couple of questions and now await his reply. Some stuff in the article jumped out at me.
"The long-term mortality rate of gastric bypass patients has been shown to be reduced by up to 40%;however, complications are common and surgery-related death occurs within one month in 2% of patients."
I knew this; in fact, I actually thought the surgery-related death statistic was higher. I think it may have gone down in the 12 or so years I've been reading about it; initially I had the impression that 1 in 4 patients died pretty quickly following surgery, which was one of the reasons I initially refused to get it. I tell people they should know the worst-case scenario(s) and be able to accept them before they undergo bariatric surgery.
"The Consensus Panel of the National Institutes of Health (NIH) recommended the following criteria for consideration of bariatric surgery, including gastric bypass procedures:
1. People who have a body mass index (BMI) of 40 or higher. Or,
2. People with a BMI of 35 or higher with one or more related comorbid conditions.
The Consensus Panel also emphasized the necessity of multidisciplinary care of the bariatric surgical patient, by a team of physicians and therapists, to manage associated co-morbidities, nutrition, physical activity, behavior and psychological needs. The surgical procedure is best regarded as a tool which enables the patient to alter lifestyle and eating habits, and to achieve effective and permanent management of their obesity and eating behavior."
That's what they've been telling me. Tool. It's easier said than done sometimes, but it's the most useful way to think of the surgery.
"In 2004, a Consensus Conference was sponsored by the American Society for Bariatric Surgery (ASBS), which updated the evidence and the conclusions of the NIH panel. This Conference, composed of physicians and scientists of many disciplines, both surgical and non-surgical, reached several conclusions, amongst which were:
• Bariatric surgery is the most effective treatment for morbid obesity
• Gastric bypass is one of four types of operations for morbid obesity.
• Laparoscopic surgery is equally effective and as safe as open surgery.
• Patients should undergo comprehensive pre-operative evaluation, and have multi-disciplinary support, for optimum outcome."
Okay. I agree with this, and it's what I'm getting.
"The gastric bypass, in its various forms, accounts for a large majority of the bariatric surgical procedures performed. It is estimated that 200,000 such operations were performed in the United States in 2008. An increasing number of these operations are now performed by limited access techniques, termed "laparoscopy".
Laparoscopic surgery is performed using several small incisions, or ports, one of which conveys a surgical telescope connected to a video camera, and others permit access of specialized operating instruments. The surgeon actually views his operation on a video screen. The method is also called limited access surgery, reflecting both the limitation on handling and feeling tissues, and also the limited resolution and two-dimensionality of the video image. With experience, a skilled laparoscopic surgeon can perform most procedures as expeditiously as with an open incision—with the option of using an incision should the need arise."
My surgery was laproscopic. I had that unusually thick abdominal wall problem, but my incision scars are almost invisible already, not even a year out.
"The gastric bypass procedure consists in essence of: creation of a small, (15–30 mL/1–2 tbsp) thumb-sized pouch from the upper stomach, accompanied by bypass of the remaining stomach (about 400 mL and variable)."
Wow, that's tiny.
"The gastric bypass reduces the size of the stomach by well over 90%. A normal stomach can stretch, sometimes to over 1000 ml, while the pouch of the gastric bypass may be 15 ml in size. The Gastric Bypass pouch is usually formed from the part of the stomach which is least susceptible to stretching. That, and its small original size, prevents any significant long-term change in pouch volume. What does change, over time, is the size of the connection between stomach and bowel, and the ability of the small bowel to hold a greater volume of food. Over time, the functional capacity of the pouch increases; by that time, weight loss has occurred, and the increased capacity serves to allow maintenance of a lower body weight.
When the patient ingests just a small amount of food, the first response is a stretching of the wall of the stomach pouch, stimulating nerves which tell the brain that the stomach is full."
What I heard was that a 'normal' stomach can stretch to the size of a football. (An example like that is easier for me to visualize.)
"In almost every case where weight gain occurs late after surgery, capacity for a meal has not greatly increased. The cause of regaining weight is eating between meals, usually high-caloric snack foods. There is no known operation which can completely counteract the adverse effects of destructive eating behavior."
This is the part that hit me where I lived, particularly the last sentence--because I know how very true it is and live it every day, sometimes much to my own chagrin. It's just another way to say, "This surgery isn't a magic wand"--which is, of course, what I've been saying (and learning, literally) all along.
There were more interesting little factoids on Wikipedia's gastric bypass surgery page, such as that post-surgical folk absorb alcohol faster and take longer to get sober (which would seem logical). The statistics were also kind of fun:
-65-80% of excess body weight is typically lost post-op;
-High cholesterol is corrected over 70% of the time (I'm in the remaining 30%, lucky me);
-Type II diabetes is resolved in over 90% of cases, sometimes within days of surgery (this did happen, yay);
-Sleep apnea is often cured, though no statistic is given;
-acid reflux and joint pain are often gone quickly, although no statistic is given.
The article does stress the importance of having a support system in place due to the psychological ramifications of this surgery. I would definitely, definitely concur.
Energy drinks: pro or con?
Almost every time I am drinking an energy drink, or talk about drinking an energy drink, someone says, "Oh, they're so bad for you." Well, everything is bad for you, isn't it? (she groused with no attempt to hide her irritability) I mean, life is going to kill us all at some point. In all seriousness, though, I haven't researched them except in terms of deciding which ones I like the taste of--and I only drink sugar-free, of course. I also have never drunk more than one in a day, nor would I--especially not prior to a workout.
I'm not particularly fond of Red Bull, though it is okay as a drink mixer and most places seem to have some sugar-free behind the bar. NOS has been my favorite thus far in terms of taste (despite the fact that it is the official energy drink of NASCAR, which did give me pause)--it's more citrus-y than the others--but I have had a hard time finding it in sugar-free, or at all. I heard that Wal-Mart recently pulled NOS from store shelves for causing heart palpitations in someone somewhere, but I would also be willing to bet that the person/those people pounded several of them beforehand, and that it may or may not have been the same person who sued McDonald's because they spilled some coffee on themselves and found out (shock! horror! disbelief!) that it was hot.
My happy medium for energy drinks seems to be Rockstar, which can be acquired by the case at Costco for the cheapest price I've seen, and can be found in sugar-free just about everywhere.
Yes, it has a lot of caffeine--80 mg in a 16-oz. can--but want/need for caffeine is usually why one drinks one of these, isn't it? There are 0 carbs and 20 calories in said can, which also contains 200% of the RDA for Vitamin B2, 100% of the RDA for Vitamins B3, B5, B6 and B12, as well as taurine, ginseng, guarana, ginkgo, L-carnitine, and a few other things of that ilk that are said to be beneficial to one's overall health.
If dairy and/or coffee are hard on one's stomach, I guess I don't see the harm in energy drinks. They are "lightly carbonated" as opposed to the full carbonation of soda, which is preferable for post-WLS folk. There is no aspartame (at least not in the sugar-free Rockstar can I have next to me as I type this). I'm going to have to talk to my nutritionist next time around and see what the big deal is.
I'm not particularly fond of Red Bull, though it is okay as a drink mixer and most places seem to have some sugar-free behind the bar. NOS has been my favorite thus far in terms of taste (despite the fact that it is the official energy drink of NASCAR, which did give me pause)--it's more citrus-y than the others--but I have had a hard time finding it in sugar-free, or at all. I heard that Wal-Mart recently pulled NOS from store shelves for causing heart palpitations in someone somewhere, but I would also be willing to bet that the person/those people pounded several of them beforehand, and that it may or may not have been the same person who sued McDonald's because they spilled some coffee on themselves and found out (shock! horror! disbelief!) that it was hot.
My happy medium for energy drinks seems to be Rockstar, which can be acquired by the case at Costco for the cheapest price I've seen, and can be found in sugar-free just about everywhere.
Yes, it has a lot of caffeine--80 mg in a 16-oz. can--but want/need for caffeine is usually why one drinks one of these, isn't it? There are 0 carbs and 20 calories in said can, which also contains 200% of the RDA for Vitamin B2, 100% of the RDA for Vitamins B3, B5, B6 and B12, as well as taurine, ginseng, guarana, ginkgo, L-carnitine, and a few other things of that ilk that are said to be beneficial to one's overall health.
If dairy and/or coffee are hard on one's stomach, I guess I don't see the harm in energy drinks. They are "lightly carbonated" as opposed to the full carbonation of soda, which is preferable for post-WLS folk. There is no aspartame (at least not in the sugar-free Rockstar can I have next to me as I type this). I'm going to have to talk to my nutritionist next time around and see what the big deal is.
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About Me
- Salted with Shadows
- Seattle, WA, United States
- This blog focuses largely on a personal journey to and through weight-loss surgery. It's also about reading, writing, animals, photography, love, humor, music, thinking out loud, and memes. In other words...life.
