Conscious eating

I have been doggedly trying to practice this the past few days. Drinking more liquids rather than eating every time I get the notion. Asking myself, "Are you REALLY hungry or would drinking something fill you up?" (Sometimes, drinking something IS enough--I just have to be aware.) This morning I danced around for fifteen minutes while I watched TV to get my heart beating. I'm also trying to think more positive thoughts--how much I've lost already, how much better I feel.

My shift is supposed to change to days next week, and I really hope it does. I'm averaging maybe four hours of sleep a night. I've been researching pools and health clubs where I might be able to go, and have found a couple of options.

I've discovered that I really love Bret Michaels' diet Snapple flavor that he created on "Celebrity Apprentice"--it's called Bret's Blend Tea, Trop-A-Rocka. Goofy as that name is, I hope they keep making it; I usually don't like the tea flavors, and it's hard to find diet Snapple in anything else.

I also discovered my stomach is happier when I have Jamba Juice swap out the juice and completely substitute it with the Splenda low-cal dairy base so that all my drinks are made of is that and fruit. Pomegranate and mango combos seem to be the mildest.

Why we eat?

According to psychologist Pavel Somov's book entitled "Eating the Moment" we eat for three reasons:

1. "to satisfy the need of the body,"
2. "to satisfy the need of the mind," and
3. "and out of habit when triggered by the environment."

Exercise 1--first 2 weeks

The following exercise from his book is meant to help you gain insight into why you eat.

1. After you ask yourself, "Why did I just eat?" keep a written log in a notebook.

Were you hungry? Did something in the environment trigger you to eat? Did you eat to cope, to address emotional needs?

If you ate out of hunger, write down "need based". If you ate because of stress, write down "ate to cope", and if you ate on a craving triggered by an environmental cue, write down "environment triggered". If several difference reasons coincide, try to determine the primary motive for eating.

Exercise 2--second 2 weeks

After completing the first exercise, move on to this one. Ask yourself before you eat "Why am I about to eat?" After you clarify to yourself the reason you are eating, then eat or don't eat. For right now, you make the conscious decision. Continue with this for as long as you feel as it is helpful.

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So this is my assignment from the nutritionist for the first month.

I did something like this before in therapy many years ago. It was a little different, as I was to write down how I felt on a numbered scale (1-5 or 1-10, I think) when I ate; it wasn't important what I was eating, but why. It was actually helpful. I was still having some issues with bulimia at the time. I did learn a lot about my own triggers and patterns and ultimately at least become conscious of why I ate, which was the whole point. I was definitely an emotional eater. To this day, when I get angry and feel trapped and pushed to the brink of stress, I want some chocolate. Half a regular-size candy bar is plenty.

The writing down everything I ingest is driving me nuts. How many bottles of water did I have today? And I'm supposed to write down my exercise. I consider cleaning the entire house exercise--it takes all day, and it wipes me out. And I don't care what anyone else says, a big solo Costco trip is exercise, too. That store can be full of frighteningly fertile people with a well-developed sense of entitlement--many of them unpleasant--and that could make anyone need a nap afterward.