Ho hum

I feel like I have had nothing to say lately. I do other writing that I don't put on this blog--or I try to. I have been working on a memoir for quite some time in fits and starts. Once in a while I crank out a poem. It seems like I spend a lot more time on pictures than I do on writing--new ones I take, scanning old ones, and messing with them all in Photoshop, putting them on Flickr, etc. Recently I worked on a whole passel of old family photos for a friend--it is amazing how much they can be improved in Photoshop, dust removed, color corrected, etc. I have considered photo restoration as a side business, but am not sure how viable an option that is.

I have not been very diligent about researching school funding options, either--I am just feeling incredibly discouraged. This is day 83 of the damn food journal, so I am still not quite halfway through the dreaded Six Months of Diet and Exercise.

One of my best girlfriends came down and visited a couple of days ago. She is one of those people who reminds me who I am as well as who I should be and want to be, so seeing her is always wonderful. She is great for perspective, and we also laugh like fools the majority of the time we are together. She keeps telling me that this may just be a period of time when I work on my health; my husband tells me the same thing. But I have this sense of urgency, the need to have an overall game plan tempered with the knowledge I'm not getting any younger and sprinkled with guilt that I'm not bringing in any income.

I have reconnected with old friends on Facebook in recent months and have actually met up with two, neither of whom I had seen in 20 years. That has been great for my current perspective, too. The way I am remembered by others from the long-ago past is always a trip. I have heard repeatedly how people thought I seemed to have it all together during the most desperate part of my life, which would have been my late teens through early to mid-20s. I don't think I was that good an actress, because I'm not really capable of that caliber of acting! I think people were immersed in their own stuff (as they should have been) and that illusion is everything. It is so freeing to realize that everyone isn't/wasn't staring at you--they are too busy worrying about whether everyone is staring at them.