Thoughts after contributing to the tax base of my community

Mr. Salted got a bonus on this week's paycheck for not calling in sick (which is sick, but the money is quite welcome), so it was almost twice as much as usual. I have kept myself busy today by spending a chunk of it. I raced to Trader Joe's this morning to get there within 15 minutes of its doors opening--but it was still absolutely SLAMMED. I love the products they carry and their philosophies there, but a handful of my fellow shoppers were tap-dancing on my last good nerve--particularly one woman in the freezer section with no concept of anyone else's personal space. I thought of asking her if it was time to take our relationship to the next level--either that, or flat-out decking her. (No wonder so many people are on anti-anxiety meds.) I was also mightily amused by the amount of huge SUVs parked near the handicapped spaces. I did a cursory visual scan of the first adjacent row of parked vehicles, but there were no Hummers--this time.

An hour or so later, I hit Target. Can I just say, I adore Target??!?!? Again, not so much the fellow shoppers, just the store's merchandise and prices. It can be an extremely dangerous store for me to be in, especially when I know we have money in the checking account. I had a grand old time meandering along and scouring the clearance racks in a leisurely fashion with a nice sugar-free, nonfat iced mocha. Mr. Salted's birthday is tomorrow, so I picked him up a few extra things to go with the presents I'd already gotten him. (One of my vices is buying myself and everyone else little things too, when I can afford to. I reveled in that vice today.) For example, they had these adorable hippie-inspired hobo bags for $8 that I fell in love with--I bought two different ones. (I love hobo bags and I love the "boho" styles--one was even paisley, and paisley just makes me plain ol' happy.) The hippie flourish was in full swing all over the store--the 40th anniversary of Woodstock is this year, so they had the DVD and some great glasses, mugs, and picture frames, as well as T-shirts. I happened to be wearing an old rainbow tie-dyed shirt today and, coming out of the store, a woman I'd never seen before in my life told me she loved it--"it's gorgeous". (I am not ashamed to say that I truly, truly enjoy what I perceive to be the damn near Olympic-caliber irony of being a 270-pound woman who gets complimented on her clothes (jewelry, shoes, purses, hats) on a regular basis, most often by total strangers. (It's pretty cool, especially when you look at a lot of the "plus-size" clothing available out there. It's the many the catalog I have received and thrown across the room, sputtering, "Fat does NOT mean blind!" I also admit I enjoy it--and sometimes can't even believe it--because I grew up wearing clothes we sometimes stole from the Salvation Army bin in the dead of night, and I never heard the end of that from my peers at the time.)

SO--Target had a lot of mondo good deals on clearance today, especially men's shirts. Mr. Salted wears a Medium, so I can *always* find cool things for him at good prices, but today they had some XXLs and some XLs on the sale racks, too--three of them were only $1.74! I made an immediate executive decision to buy myself a couple of things for post-WLS--nothing over $15, or smaller than an XL. (I think it might take an actual act of God--in whom I'm not quite certain that I believe in the first place--to get me under an XL again. Frankly, I can't even imagine being an XXL again.) So I have a couple of shirts in the next three or four sizes down that I paid very little for. I figured it was a good investment, and on some level shows actual positive thinking and good intentions on my part.

I looked longingly at all the cute summer dresses and pajamas they had for "normal" (ha) women and thought to myself, Wow...maybe next year I will be able to fit into some of those things and actually be able to buy cute stuff for affordable prices--in other words, get out from under the dreaded FAT TAX. There are a very few stores--such as Catherine's and Fashion Bug--that have reasonably-priced, basic clothing of decent quality for plus-size women up to size 5X (30/32), but they are so few and far between--and I read online not too long ago that the mother company of those two stores was in financial trouble, which is distressing. (I just found the perfect bra at Fashion Bug a couple of months ago, and every woman reading this knows how impossible that is--and how once you do find the perfect bra, it is immediately discontinued. But I digress.) I really WANT TO KNOW: what is it LIKE to be able to walk into Target and buy something presentable (and fashionable) to wear for only $25-40? Or LESS? The fact that the first place I go to look for anything for myself is the men's department is telling in and of itself. (I "outgrew" the women's section years ago.) For basics like T-shirts, men's tend to be sturdier, cheaper, and come in better colors anyway--I have no problem there--but if I really need something, like a pair of shorts, I have to hope the men's section has something in my waist size that doesn't look overly masculine. It's rather depressing to contemplate the more I think about it. No wonder I became the Queen of Mail Order/Online among my acquaintances before I was even out of my teens. And I have some really nice clothes, but let me tell you, they were NOT cheap. A decent bathing suit for me in my current size is at least $120. A bra can be as much as $70. (Who has that kind of money? No wonder my VISA is maxed out.) Ironically, Ebay has been a godsend, particularly for professional or designer clothes, and many of the listings included: "I had gastric bypass surgery! My loss is your gain!"