Demerol

I am *so* glad to be home. I had sat in my hospital bed for hours with my laptop calling every pharmacy in the known universe, trying to get that !@#$% liquid Demerol, or if you prefer, Demerol elixir. One pharmacy I talked to in a snooty nearby town was a complete joke. I asked if their pharmacy stocked liquid Demerol, and got this guy who spoke barely passable English--I couldn't pin down the accent. He got alllll excited. "That is illegal! I cannot tell you that," he said. "It's a controlled substance and you could be planning to rob us." (Kudos for your customer service, there. I always try to give stores my business when they call me a thief, are you kidding?)You could not even measure how annoyed I was by this whole exchange. I had already called 12 pharmacies at least, I was sitting uncomfortably in a hospital bed, and I just wanted to find where I could fill this prescription so I could go home.

I took a deep breath and tried reasoning with him. "Sir, I am well aware of the HIPAA laws. I am not having Mr.Salted drive all the way to Snootytown to try to fill this prescription on the outside chance you are just playing coy with me and don't really have it." Finally, he spit it out that they did have it. However, the other place who stocked it was closer and their employees didn't sound like they had been huffing spray paint, so I went to the second place. Mr. Paranoia is probably still wigging out from my phone call and wondering why I never showed up. Oddly enough, I don't feel too bad about that.