Eating pureed worms

This was how I felt yesterday--nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna go eat worms. (Of course, they would have to be pureed. And then I remembered: I don't get to start on puree until the 11th, and that annoyed me even more.) I wonder if it isn't some kind of postpartum depression sans bambino.

I'm in pain, my incisions itch but I can't scratch them, I can't shower properly because I have to wrap my middle in Glad Press and Seal wrap so the bandages stay on and I can't really bend or twist certain ways...it's lovely. I looked at Susan Maria Leach's book and was relieved to see that she felt this way at first, too, and look how it turned out for her.

I am HUNGRY. It wouldn't take much to get me full, but I would love a couple of bites of fruit or mashed potatoes or SOMETHING that isn't a g-d protein drink. I like the premade protein drinks better than the powders so far; it seems physically impossible for the powders not to be chalky. The Bariatric Advantage meal replacement ones seem to be the chalkiest of them all, which is rather ironic in my estimation. My favorite so far has been the Muscle Milk Light Peanut Butter Chocolate powder.

The Demerol is making me out of it--sleepy, sweaty, and stupid, which segues seamlessly into cranky and mean. I will be glad when this part's over. Mr. Salted has been a rock. He's been doing all the housework and getting me what I needed and just tries to be the sweetest husband on Earth, which of course, he is. I'm just sorry he has to put up with ME right now.

I am worried about eating (or drinking) too much and messing up the pouch. They want me to have something like 84 ounces of fluid a day, which I have been, and I've had over 100 grams of protein every day too. I guess if it was too much, it would come back, and it hasn't.